Dear Sarah Millican

Dear Sarah,

I am a slightly over weight recovering alcoholic, with the kind of flash trainers you can see from the International Space Station as they are damn bright. I have just finished listening to your audiobook, How to be Champion, and I wanted to pass on my thanks. It mad me chuckle so much on one run that I actually got a stitch, and I felt like I had actual company instead of being a weirdo running 14 miles on purpose. I had not read this quote of yours before I wrote this:

The smug feeling afterwards is excellent! The shine is only taken off by having more than 3 blisters and a mouth dryer than Ghandi’s flip flop. Don’t even get me started on a running product called Chub Rub- I think it sounds more like a specialist porn site than something designed to make running less, well, chaffing.

Like your good self, I too used to be self conscious about the way I look, and what clothes I wore. I missed the era of the perm, but my parents ensured that in many a childhood photograph I was wearing a shell suit (of which I was very proud) even though I was a veritable walking fire hazard. Nowadays I only have two types of clothes, those which are passable for work and running kit. The main aim of the latter is to be SO bright that numpties won’t run me over during evening runs. Thus whilst many women pass off looking like a black-clad exercise ninja, I look like I got dressed in the dark. If you add in my head torch, I basically look like a mental Lycra clad miner. I’m oddly proud of how little I care about what other people think of me when I run- and so solidarity to you for thinking fuck what other people think.

I also tried your banana bread recipe. Although I am a pain in the bum coeliac, and so mine had to be gluten free. Imagine my delight when my kids didn’t like it, and I had to gobble it up! Any other recipes that I can make look a bit like a gluten free brick let me know, I don’t usually get a look in with cake in my house.

The other bit of your book which resonated a lot was the sections about not drinking. I am in recovery now, and I go to AA, which is actually quite fun and not at all like you would think. I am hoping that alcohol will never have a place in my life again, and having a positive role model for not drinking really helps. I also agree that drinking just cokes all the time is utterly tedious. There should be a greater alcohol free selection, if anything just to stave off the boredom.

I am not a crazed fan or anything, I just thought in the light of all the negative comments you get about dresses and other such bollocks, it might be nice for social media send you a positive for once. I really enjoyed your book, and thank you for keeping me company for many hours.

Yours Sincerely,

Me.

PS- I am never going to be able to use a hotel kettle again.

PPS- you picture was included to help those who read my blog identify you as the funny lady from the telly.

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