Last night at a meeting I had a very odd experience. Everyone seemed to be on a bit of a downer with the time of year/ weather/ dark and Christmas has knocked ten metaphorical barrels of shit out of everyone. Usually I leave meetings feel calm, and happy- I think it is being around people who *get it* and don’t judge me as we have all been there-done that-got the shirt. (Here is that T-shirt in case you were wondering)
Anyway. I couldn’t shake the feeling when I got home that the other people there didn’t like me. Actually not that, just that they didn’t think I was authentic in what I was saying. Or that I should share less and listen more. I don’t know. It was a weird feeling of being restless all evening, ironic considering we have been reading the very section of the Big Book where being “restless, irritable and discontent” OH LOOK there is a T-shirt for that as well!
Anyhow- I awoke to two lovely texts from ladies at my meeting, and all the restlessness evaporated. Some of the folk at meetings are perception its very self, and one gently pointed out to me that I was projecting my issues. OH GOOD GOD SHE WAS RIGHT. Turns out this is not true:
In fact it is more like this:
Lesson learnt. Again. I wonder how many times I will have to learn this before it becomes part of my usual emotional response? It is of immeasurable benefit for me to have my perceptions challenged, and especially by those who have been there-done that. All I can say is I am so grateful for my seat in the room.