Sooooooo, you know when you first go into a meeting, and it feels quite a bit like being on foreign exchange trip when you were a kid? (think- lots familiar here, but I am not quite sure what is going on…..) and also a little bit like being in a lesson at school where everyone else seemed to know the answers and you were not sure (for me this was maths- how come everyone else always knew the formulas and I didn’t?!) ANYHOO- I got myself a totally awesome sponsor. I identify with her experience a lot, and I trust her totally. There is also the added bonus that she has these awesome waggy-bum doggies who like to be made a fuss of, so I get the wisdom of sobriety as well as pet therapy. *double win!* I love the opportunity to build a relationship with my sponsor, and when I found this, it really made sense to me:
I have started my step 1 work. This has been some reflection on The Doctor’s Opinion in The Big Book, and I swear I have gone at it with total teacher hat on. I have checked the spelling, punctuation and grammar and everything! On the flip side, I am conscious of taking my time, and letting recovery take as long as it takes. This is not a journey that you can force or rush, and I took at lot from the Friday meeting that the steps are not a competition or I ‘should be’ at a certain stage- it is just something individual and personal to me. Initially I was uncomfortable with the lack of comparison with other people, but actually it now feels rather freeing, and I am happy to be on my own path. Sometimes I walk it, sometimes I skip, sometimes I crawl, and other times I might even manage a boogie- but it is still progress.