Lucky you- two posts in one day. Sorry- I just needed to think things through.
Mostly my days are broadly good or bad. Today has been a mixture of both, and it has helped me come to a realization that I think will be helpful long term.
On the positive side- I met my AA sponsor for our first meeting and she was amazing. I also don’t seem to have burnt dinner yet. The manifestation of being happy was me smiling, handing out Christmas muffins, feeling that my skirt was pretty and feeling optimistic. On the negative side of the day- an argument with my husband that reminded me of when I was drinking and has left me feeling wobbly all day, and also some negative feelings around not being respected as a parent. This reflects in my feeling insecure, unwanted and emotionally unavailable. All of which I can see are not healthy.
Realization: At the moment my emotions are like waves, and I am quick up (super happy, positive, baking and doing things) and then down (hard to communicate with, tired, distant) It is positive to recognize that the emotions are like waves, and I need to get better at riding them.
I wanted to use an image as a surfer as a metaphor, but one with a shark seemed more apt.