Feeling judged

I’m not having a good day today. I know not every day can be a good one, but I feel very glum. You know those kind of days when you try really hard and still nothing comes together right? It’s like that, but with bells on. (And not ones that jingle)

The caveat is that I have an absolutely stinking cold, and so I am probably really sensitive. Also, Christmas is an emotional tinderbox in our house, and there isn’t anything I can really do about that. My step sons in particular find this time of year hard, and whilst rational brain me know I should bite my tongue or give them more attention, I am feeling rubbishy. (And I am sure they feel pretty fed up with me as well) I get that I have to earn respect back, but I am still feeling very judged as a parent, like nothing I do is good enough. To my credit, a few months ago I would have hit the vino way before this time of day, and I’m still stone cold sober. Going to count that as a win, even if it is minuscule.

I am trying to avoid a poor-Me pity party (not attractive) but everything just feels really difficult. I think part of the reason for this is I used to love putting up the Christmas decorations, it would be a really happy day. I wish today had been like that. Sorry for all the misery- nothing a good sleep can’t fix I hope, and as they say tomorrow is another day.

ADDED END NOTE. The day did get better. I played a game with the kids and my husband. He cooked me lovely dinner. The cat sat on my knee. What I need to do is get better coping strategies so that negative feelings/days do not overwhelm me.